The artist after he self-destructs
Posted by: admin in Artists who fall through the cracks, The excesses of artists, Minnesotan Art Failure Tales (MAFT), Ah Minneapolis..., Artistic self-destruction, Idealizing bohemian excess, Artists are their own worst enemies, Doomed artist, The struggles of artists, Artistic delusion, The tortured artist, Artistic failure in AmericaJust to check back in, below is pasted the most recent online forum post by Gabriel Combs, the artist who self-destructed (and went homeless) a few months ago.
Note: I haven’t seen Combs since just before he was evicted from his apartment. He was not particularly pleased with what I wrote about his experiences, so I don’t imagine he’d have any interest in meeting with me again. Therefore, unfortunately, the only way I have of knowing how well the now-homeless artist is doing is by reading the scant words he writes on this online forum. (And these words don’t paint a pretty picture.)
i sold my soul for a bowl of soup, and there was a fly in it.
cuts don’t heal
slow seeping blood
its death and it creeps
testosterone and adrenaline mixed with alcohol
my senses have gone animal. survival explicitly dictates it. its a fine line from here to hell, and i’m aware of every instinct, sight and smell. dreams are theatre and threatening and nostalgic nightmare with beauty and godpleasesomeonehelpmeplease. sleep face down arms crossed in a coffin with the process of suffocation. radiate light in the day, solar cell (prison) becomes anemic until after midnight shadows confiscate lack of contrast.
an ideal balance of alienation and abstracted nostalgia.
“i don’t care about my bad reputation
never said i wanted to improve my station…”
choooke…. my body is afflicted with this heartttttt…… brokenbreakcrookedandstraight
“runnin through the field where all my tracks will be concealed
and theres no where to go…”
nothing is making much sense. i don’t know where i am.
here are three 3″ x 4″ statik kinetic tortoise, now up on ebay for only .99 cents. i gotta get out of here soon…
(posted on mnartists.org by Gabriel Combs, May 18, 06:35 PM)
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May 25th, 2008 at 10:59 pm
oh, i’d meet with you again but there might not be much of a point besides idle chatter and cocktails and you have that covered. i think the real bonus i get out of your writing on the whole process i am going thru is another perspective. that pretty much is above and beyond actual criticsm and i would say that you are doing your “job” correctly. the article made me had to look at myself from a different perspective which is good. i just think you missed a few things or got them wrong but it does’nt really matter. i can only plan this thing out so far, and any input gives for better informed steering. i have a place to make art still, and am doing just that. reading a lot and trying to evolve as best i can. thanks for the input overall, and i’ll keep checking in.
btw, is’nt it some sort of rule that artists/critics are supposed to have somewhat of an adversarial relationship? glasses can still be raised and jokes exchanged and all that, but it seems like there is still a need to keep the art feedback/discussion pure and lacking any fluff. it seems the point of it all really is to advance art as that is why we are here. (against our better judgement)
cheers.